Single female seeking.......

This is a slightly edited reprint of a post I did on another forum.  Dug it up the other day and thought it worth posting here.- JW

I am looking to see what this site is all about and hoping to meet someone to chat with, become friends, meet, and who knows...? I am professionally employed in _______ and have lived here for about 5 years now. I am a curvacious woman with a pretty face.  I'm looking for a man with six pack abs, great sense of humor and great teeth. If you ask me for a picture I just might send you one! 


Ever seen an ad like this? Maybe you have. My guess is amongst all the single ads found online or in print, the burning desire for great alignment or posture as a pre-requisite for a mate is rare.....how bout "must have lightning fast nerves and a well integrated sensorimotor system"? No? Not quite up to par to "must have" six pack abs, sense of humour, money or great teeth?
A respected colleague and friend has stirred me to ponder that question which was posed based on his most recent Palmer experience....that is "if you were the last chiropractor living, would the profession still live? General consensus on BJ Palmer was, yes, he was the consummate self promoter and great marketer of our beloved profession. Given that the root meaning of profession is "to profess", I banter among the 4 corners of my brain this question, 

"Now, in 2013, how should we best promote our great profession? What niche? What point of interest? What appeal to today's dog eat dog vanity world does our underutilized profession (5-6%!!!)have to offer?!"

Surely, we can crack that anti-aging, salon-loving, botox-injecting, silicone-implanting, brazilian-waxing, butt-lifting, teeth-whitening hetero-, homo-, metro-sexual world.....phew, thats quite a mouthful. People buy what makes them look good for

THEIR "other",
SOME "other"
or in some cases just plain "others", that's for certain.

Gawd, I envy those dentists and their teeth loving ways. I've seen many a hot women be repulsed by a poor schlep's not so "pearly whites". Why can't they be just as repulsed by a C1 AILP inducing head tilt or a C2 PRS inducing lower shoulder....you should see my repulsion watching those TV anchors delivering the news. "I would never sleep with that anchorwoman", I say, "That is some ugly forward head posture on that beast." 

Tongue in cheek aside, the looking good business is big money. Even a beloved, fearless, self-admitting narcissistic mentor of mine owns up to not going cheap when comes to a day at the salon. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect nails...perfectly handsome married male no longer seeking....

As a side note I have had one patient (female) in my 15 years of practice who specifically came to me to reduce the "ugly" thoracic kyphosis that would absolutely ruin her wedding day. Pure aesthetics. No problem I say. I thought I had stumbled upon a brand new field of cosmetic chiropractic. 6 months later, success....she was very happy, she got what she came for and we haven't seen her since.

But what about making people feeeelllll goooood, you might ask. What about health, you might also ask? Well, you're right, its also big money. But the game is played a little different here. Are people coming in to feel good or feel better? Ummm...is that a difference, I ask my sulci? Less than 5-10% of new patients walking into our office come into our office for pure "wellness" check ups, and usually they've been referred to by a current patient and they came in to see what the buzz is all about. So that leaves 90+% coming in the door hoping to "feel better" from "something" that ails them. Do the spas own the market for feeling good and being pampered? Everytime I come out of one I have one of those huge, long drawn out "AAAAHS!"...... do my patients have one after every visit? Not likely.

Ohhhh, process driven vs event driven experiences, you say. A day at the spa is an event. Multiple, seemingly similar visits to the chiropractor to <cue in Robin Leach> "fix" those "Lifestyle choices of the dumb and dumber" doesn't seem quite as appealing to our instant gratification world. And yet, some of us manage to eek out a pretty good living at it. WHY??!! And why not every single chiropractor? We seem to know the answer, but I'm not 100% sure.....is it really just as easy as perhaps providing a " not coveted, but necessary health care service sought out by a growing number of "disillusioned by traditional health care" despots who yearn to be "heard" and "cared" for...provided by those with a sprinkle of extraordinary clinical skill and a dash of superb soft skill." 

I don't know, you tell me......and tell me how I fit all that into a slick, knock em off their pants marketing campaign. I'm just a lowly blogger (read, by maybe, 12 of my colleagues who can stand me) hashing my thots and writing them, verbatim, on this medium.

If I were single again and I was looking for a potential mate, here's what my ad would say........

SINGLE HANDSOME (don't laugh) MALE SEEKING SINGLE FEMALE- MUST HAVE SYMMETRY AND BALANCE IN POSTURAL ALIGNMENT, UNIMPEDED NEURAL SENSORY SYSTEMS TO GENERATE ACCURATE INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL REPRESENTATIONS OF HER OWN ENVIRONMENT AND PICK UP THOSE CUES OF MY OWN, UNIMPEDED MOTOR SYSTEMS TO GENERATE SKILLFUL USE OF HANDS, LEGS AND OTHER BODY PARTS FOR BEDROOM ACTIVITY, WELL SYNCHRONIZED HEMISPHERIC ACTIVITY TO ENGAGE IN WHOLE MINDED AND INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION WITH AFTER THE BEDROOM ACTIVITY, ADEQUATE AMOUNTS OF ACCESSIBLE DOPAMINE FROM THE VENTRAL TEGMENTAL AREAS FOR THOSE TIMES OF THE MONTH WHEN YOU MIGHT GET A LITTLE BIT BITCHY, A CAREER, PURPOSE AND PASSION FOR LIFE WOULDN'T HURT..............................................AND GREAT TEETH.